I REMEMBER

I WAS CHILLIN WITH RUM, GRANDMA, TITI PITA, AND UNCLE PHIL THE OTHER DAY WHEN A FRIEND OF THE FAMILY VISITED. IT LEAD ME TO ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT WHO THE 13 YEAR OLD GIRL WAS. I, AS WELL AS TITI THOUGHT SHE LOOKED A LOT LIKE MY SISTER. COULD SHE BE MY HALF SISTER? I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS A YOUNG CHILD AFTER MY PARENTS GOT DIVORCED THINKING THAT I HOPE MY FATHER FINDS SOMEONE ELSE TO SHARE HIS LIFE WITH, AND HOW HE TALKED ABOUT HAVING ANOTHER CHILD. I REMEMBER TELLING HIM HOW I WOULD LOVE THAT FOR HIM, BUT ONLY IF THE CHILD HE DID HAVE WOULD HAVE THE SAME LAST NAME AS HIM THEN HE WOULD HAVE TO GET MY NAME CHANGED FIRST. I COULD RECALL LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY HOW I WAS 3,4,5,6,7 YEARS OLD AND I WOULD WAIT UP WITH MY MOM FOR MY FATHER TO COME HOME. MOST TIMES I WOULD FALL ASLEEP IN THE LIVING ROOM, AND ON THE OCASSION ON A SATAURDAY I WOULD MAKE IT THROUGH THE NIGHT AND HALF OF SATAURDAY NIGHT LIVE UNTIL HE CAME IN. I WOULD BE SO HAPPY. WE WOULD EAT POP ROCKS AND FINISH WATCHING SNL, AND HEAR MY MOM ASK MY POP WHY WAS HE OUT SO LATE, AND WHY WAS PAMELA, AND DAVID, AND OTHER GIRLS AND GUYS MORE IMPORTANT. I GUESS I ALWAYS WONDERED IF MY FATHER WAS REALLY MY FATHER THEN WHY WAS MY LAST NAME DIFFERENT FROM HIS? WHY WAS MY FATHERS NAME NOT ON MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE? DID MY MOM GIVE HIM A HARD TIME? MAYBE? BUT I KNOW IF IT WAS ME AND I HAD A CHILD I WOULD OF FOUGHT TILL THE ENDS OF THE EARTH TO SIGN THAT CERTIFICATE. I ALWAYS WONDERED, WAS HE THERE AT THE HOSPITAL WHEN I WAS BORN. ITS JUST ONE QUESTION OUT OF MANY THAT ILL NEVER BE ABLE TO ASK MY MOM. ANYWAY I WOULD THEN ALWAYS ASK THE QUESTION, AM I MY FATHERS SON? MAYBE I AM , MAYBE I'M NOT, BUT IT DIDNT HELP ME TO ANSWER ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS WHEN MY FATHER FOUGHT FOR CUSTODY OF MY SISTER, AND LEFT ME TO BE. I WOULD OF WENT WITH MY MOM ANYWAY, AND IM BLESSED THAT I DID, BUT HE NEVER ASKED. HE WOULD JUST GO ON FOR YEARS AND TELL ME THAT HE DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO FIGHT FOR BOTH OF US. AS A CHILD I KNEW WHAT I KNOW NOW, THAT WHEN YOU FILE PAPERS FOR CUSTODY IT DOESNT COST MORE TO PUT DOWN ANOTHER NAME ON THE PAPERS. I REMEMBER.