Sunday, October 30, 2005

Seeing things

I,ve been back and Ive enjoyed some time with my nephews and nieces, my brother, father, Gabe, Dave, and Billy. I even traveled to the Manhattan, and the Bronx by subway and bus and walked around on 149th to 138th to the Concorse and back into Westchester. I saw some people who helped sponsor me, and rode Daves bike to those places which felt like it took me forever to get to on his bike. Before riding Mitch's bike, I rode Daves mountain bike and it seemed like the easiest thing to ride but not anymore. His bike rode like an old hooptie that had transmission trouble. The One big difference Ive seen since I came back was the people. Almost everyone with the exception of a few, I could see right through like I never had been able to before. Its like I saw into the heart of them. Even if they showed a smile or not they all seemed the same way, very unhappy, even if that person was making a lot of money or not,or was at work orr just trying to enjoy the time off. Its something you're able to see I guess when you take a trip like mine. It seems that people are worring about things in their lifeand letting it effect them in a way they dont even realize. Im not happy they look that way and it doesnt get me down, it just makes me happy that I dont have that feeling and Im concious of it and will never allow it to return. I kept thinking a lot of what has changed for me in the last 3 or 4 months. Like Ive mentioned befor from July till now, I had a mother and she's gone, I had a new friend in Mitch and he's gone, I had work, a girlfriend, and a place to live. Now all of it is gone, and the last thing I feel is bad,because even with those things gone for some great reason my mind wont allow me to feel bad. I returned home, and I returned home safe with new friends I met along the way, an experience that will last a lifetime that I know will work wonders for me and has already, and I also returned to new friends and old and family that loves me. So in all actuality I returned to be richer than Ive ever had been before. It just seems to me that most people while living their lives dont do the one thing they're suppose to. They're suppose to enjoy it and not be too preoccupied and get too caught up in it. I say, what good is this life we have if we cant enjoy it even if times are good or bad. People around here anyway have shown me even when its good they still dont enjoy it like they should. Just smell the air, feel it whip through your hair, listen to the people laughing and talking of times passed. Life is good you just got to try to see it for all its goodness. We are not guarenteed another day or even another hour, live up life, and find your reason for being." Im only the greatest tapdancer on earth" You are? "Of course I are, cross my heart, I just keep asking myself how many times can I come back tomorrow"

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